


Lady and the Tramp

by orphan_account



Category: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Diamond is Unbreakable, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Bad Flirting, Lady and the Tramp (1955) References, M/M, theres minimal editing here lol, this isn't really crack but i still didn't take it seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 13:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Okuyasu wants to bond over spaghetti.





	Lady and the Tramp

**Author's Note:**

> just a pre warning this is really really stupid so... lol  
> also my first time writing jojo!

It was a quiet day. Tonio's was completely empty, not counting the two rambunctious teens waiting for food to arrive at their table in the corner. It was too late for lunch, too early for dinner, but Okuyasu and Josuke had decided to stop into the restaurant for a quick bite after school. Okuyasu was kicked right out, his chair balanced on two legs as he rocked. He had less than a care in the world as he made some strange attempt at conversation with Josuke.

"And 'cause people eat meat," he continued, "That's why I think human flesh would taste bad! Think about it!"

"I think I heard this somewhere before," Josuke replied, his head propped up on his hands.

"Ehh?"

"Don't worry about it. I think it's a _great_ theory, Okuyasu."

Satisfied by the compliment, Okuyasu leaned forward in his chair to have it knock back to the ground. He wanted to make sure Josuke could see his toothy grin. It wasn't often he felt smart, after all. At that moment, Tonio returned from the kitchen with a pasta dish. "Spaghetti Alla Puttanesca", they recognized from last time.

"Here you are, sirs. I apologize for the wait. I have toned down the spiciness this time, as of your request, Okuyasu."

"Yesss!" he grinned, "I didn't even eat it yet, but it's so good!"

"You better share with me this time," Josuke said through a smirk.

"Maybe," He stuck out his tongue. Wasting no more time, he grabbed his utensils and messily twisted up a forkful of spaghetti. Tonio watched expectantly, with that usual coy grin of his.

"I expect that everything is satisfactory?"

Okuyasu smiled with his eyes since his mouth was full. Quickly finishing his bite, he nodded overenthusiastically. "Totally! Yer the man, Tonio! Yer the man, right?"

Tonio paused for a minute, and then tilted his head with closed eyes like a happy cat. "Perhaps," he finally answered. And with that, he went back to the kitchen.

His eyes were fixed on Tonio until he was out of sight, perhaps forgetting about the meal in front of him. But once the Italian had disappeared behind the kitchen door once again, Okuyasu was reminded of the task at hand. He wolfed down his pasta mouthfuls at a time, not minding the slightly concerned look Josuke was giving him.

"You always get yours before me," Josuke noted.

"I dunno. This food's s'posed to heal ya, right? 'Guess I just got more stuff wrong with me," the other shrugged.

"No way, man. I probably got way more messed up than you, at least my Crazy Diamond can _heal_ you! I got scars you can't even see."

"Wait, did ya get a new one? I think even I can count all of them at this point. Got one on your knee, one on your shoulder next to that lil star thingy, and that real cute one on your lip-"

Josuke's eyes went wide and he looked away. "Jeez, I didn't think you could be smooth like that, Oku," he muttered, though the look on his face made it clear Okuyasu had caught him off guard.

"I can be smart sometimes!" he pushed back playfully. With that, he returned to his spaghetti. He ate more slowly this time, perhaps waiting for Josuke's dish to arrive before he finished. Josuke watched intently at the other boy's plate. There was still quite a bit left, considering how average Tonio's serving sizes were. Josuke leaned his face into one hand and used the other to poke at the table cloth.

"You think Tonio heals you better than me?" he asked with just a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

Okuyasu had to think for a moment, which he doesn't usually do. Breaking from his pasta, he tapped his chin puzzledly. "Mm... I dunno. I like the snacks here. Maybe you'd win me over if ya gave me a lil reward every time ya fixed me up with Crazy D."

"What do you mean 'reward'?" Josuke huffed, "You want me to carry around those little caramels that grandmas give out or somethin'?"

"I'm just joshin' ya, Josuke! Of course you're the best healer! I woulda died that one time if it weren't for you!" Okuyasu laughed. "You mean the whole world to me!"

Josuke removed his head from his hands, and grumpily set his chin on the table with his arms stretched out towards his partner. "Dude, you freaked me out for a second there," he grumbled, "I don't wanna have competition."

Okuyasu giggled at Josuke's poutiness. With his head on the table like that, his pompadour basically hid his whole face. Unable to read his expression, Okuyasu went back to his pasta. Poking the noodles around the plate with his fork, he was suddenly struck with an idea. However, he needed Josuke to get up.

"Oi, Josuke," he called. No response. Okuyasu leaned over his plate and set his elbows on the table to reach further down. "Oiii, Jooosuke, did you fall asleep?" It seemed to be time for drastic measures. Okuyasu reached down to flick his partner's pompadour, which immediately bounced back into place from the sheer amount of gel in it.

"Jojo!" Okuyasu called one last time. Josuke pushed himself back up, apparently broken out of his jealous state, to make a serious face at Okuyasu.

"If you were anyone else but you, Okuyasu," he warned, "you would be dead right now."

"Okay, okay, but I just got a real good idea! Listen up!"

"It's not often you get those," Josuke poked. Okuyasu ignored him.

"Okay, ya know that ol' Disney movie? The one with all them dogs in it?"

"Lady and the Tramp."

"Yeah, yeah, that one! So now, ya know that scene, where the dogs are eating their spaghetti, and then-"

"Dude," Josuke interuppted, "If you're going where I think you're going-"

"I'm goin' exactly where ya think I'm goin'! So, what do ya think? Pretty smart idea, right?" Okuyasu finished proudly.

Smart? Debatable. It was an Okuyasu idea, for sure. Josuke had tried, and failed, to stop himself from laughing.

"C'mon, Oku, you realize that stuff doesn't work in real life, right? I mean, when you 'meet in the middle', who's supposed to get that last piece of the spaghetti? And besides, that movie's about dogs! Dogs don't use forks to eat, so that trick only works if you eat with your face! Seriously, you sh-"

Josuke was cut off by the sudden widening of Okuyasu's eyes, signalling that he had another idea. Suddenly, Okuyasu pushed his chair back so that he could lean forwards. His face was now perfectly in line with his plate of spaghetti. Sometimes, Josuke didn't even know why he tried.

"Dude, seriously? You're lucky no one else comes here this time of day. If someone from school came in now, I'd have to pretend I didn't know you."

Okuyasu grinned, pleased with Josuke's overreaction, before he attempted to scope out the least-messy way to eat spaghetti with his face. There didn't really seem to be a way around it, so -

He tilted his head and bit in, the same way he'd seen Koichi's dog eat a hamburger off of the road before. Upon biting it however, all of the noodles broke, and they were far too small to do anything with. Okuyasu frowned and furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Dude, you can't eat like a real dog if you're trying to act like in the movie," Josuke explained, "You can't bite them, 'cause then they'll break. And Crazy Diamond can't fix them, unless it pulls them back out through your stomach."

"Ah, I get it! You're so smart, Josuke!" Okuyasu exclaimed, before lowering himself back down to pasta-level. "No teeth this time... got it." This time, his chin hit the plate, getting messy in the process. His teeth didn't even come in contact with the spaghetti, only his tongue, which he stretched as far as possible to lap at the poor pasta. He punctuated each lick with some kind of sound effect. He looked up to meet Josuke's disturbed yet intrigued gaze. Josuke quickly turned away.

"Eugh, don't look me in the eye while you do _that_ , it's just nasty..."

"You've seen me lick way worse, Josuke!" Okuyasu announced proudly. Josuke gave him a smack on the head.

After some minutes of trial and error, Okuyasu had finally managed to pick up a single strand of spaghetti with his lips. At some point, Josuke had pulled out his phone to pass the time.

"Oi, Josuke!!" Okuyasu called through ever-so-lightly clenched teeth, "Check this out!"

Josuke looked up from his distraction to see a terribly messy face in front of him. Okuyasu looked like a puppy who had just finished digging up an entire yard, and was now proudly showing off his work. Josuke laughed.

"Careful there, you got sauce all over your face. It's spicy, right? Watch your eyes, I don't want you going blind."

"C'mon, bro, you know why I wanted your attention!" Okuyasu huffed, leaning in further across Josuke's side of the table. "And it'll seriously break if I keep talking about it!"

Josuke rolled his eyes before leaning in to grab the end of the spaghetti with his teeth. He could tell Okuyasu was smiling just from the look in his eyes. However, he only got about a third of the way down the spaghetti line before Josuke bit it off and pulled back. Okuyasu whined.

"Sorry, but there's _no way_ I'm kissing you like that. Might get sauce in my hair," Josuke said, combing through said hair with his fingers for emphasis.

"Aww, but-"

"Don't complain, just go wash it off in the sink. Make sure it's the bathroom sink and not the kitchen sink though, or Tonio'll never let you out alive."

Out of arguments to give, Okuyasu nodded and left for the bathroom. Josuke leaned against the wall as he waited. He popped some gum in his mouth. Now that he thought about it, wasn't it strange that he still didn't get his food from Tonio?

After a few minutes, Okuyasu returned, his face considerably cleaner than before. Josuke beckoned him over to the wall he was leaning on. When Okuyasu arrived, he immediately found arms around him, pulling him in, when all of a sudden Josuke was kissing him. Goddamnit, why were Josuke's lips always so soft?

In a moment he pulled away. "If you want to kiss me, then you can just ask, dude. You don't gotta come up with lame excuses like that."

Okuyasu's face was as red as the tomatoes in his pasta. He looked like he was about to tear up with joy. Despite the look on his face, he turned away and his words were blunt. "Thanks, b-but... it's not dumb," he muttered.

"What, was that some kind of fantasy of yours?" Josuke teased.

"Ah- hey, shut up!"

After their playful bicker had conceided, Tonio timidly peeked into the room from his kitchen door. He allowed himself in, though keeping his hands behind his back.

"Yo, Tonio! What gives?" Josuke called, "I still didn't get my food, even after this huge wait!"

Tonio cocked his head to the side with a shut eyed smile. "My apologies, sir, but you and your companion seemed to be preoccupied with something. I felt I needn't interrupt."

Okuyasu raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you saw all of that?"

Tonio paused and tapped his chin. "Perhaps."

"Ahh, this is just _great_..."

"I do have something I hope can lighten your spirits," Tonio announced. From behind his back, he pulled a bowl of sweet pudding. He handed it to Josuke with an equally sweet smile. Okuyasu rocked on his feet with excitement.

"Ohhh, pudding! Josuke, y' better share that with me!"

"Maybe," Josuke grinned. "Yo, Tonio, get us another spoon."

"Nuh-uh, I wanna use yours," Okuyasu butt in. "That way, it's like we're indirectly..."

"Gross," Josuke teased.

"Gross?" Okuyasu pouted, "I'm not! You're gross for calling me gross!"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Whatever, just gimme the pudding, bro-"

Tonio decided to remove himself from the room before the scene could escalate any further.


End file.
